What does C+U+R+B_Y+O+U+R_D+O+G spell?
Maybe I'm too young to understand but it sounds kinda cruel to me. Curb your dog??? Park your pet owner, how do you like them apples! My Mom tells me it's a public service announcement. Well I have a PSA for all of you and it goes like this...
Pick up your dog's poo! As a little guy with his nose to the pavement I cannot tell you how many times I have nearly stepped in your pup's poo. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with it but my Mom, well she's one of those OCD types (over cleanly dogowner). She will hose me down for one wrong step and then try to keep me off the furniture. The same furniture that she welcomed me on when she made me her dog (talk about mixed messages).
So Please for the love of Murf clean up after your pooch.
Thx,
Murfe Finbar
In loving memory of J.J. Perez
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Eeewww (Part 3 of Murfe's issues with Obama's HC Plan)
This morning I'm giving my mom a kiss when all of a sudden WHAMMY!!! She licks my face...EEEEWWWWW!!!! Yes, on the surface that sounds like a double standard mostly because I eat garbage off the street and such but let's look at it from my point of view (approx. 11 inches off the ground).
I have been licking people's faces for a good 7 months now and well I'm pretty good at it (what we call a professional around the dog park). And that's not all I've been licking butt (no pun intended) this is a family blog. Now my Mom on the other paw? Well she had no technique. It was almost as if she was doing it just to get me to stop licking her and lets face it that's not why you lick someone's face now is it? It made me feel dirty.
But lets look at the most important piece of this story...she's been fighting some kind or respiratory thing for at least two months now. She has no business licking my face. She showed little regard for my PIS (puppy immune system) and let's not forget she's got a health insurance!
'Wait, Murf, you've got health insurance right?' No I don't! Why you ask? I recently posed the same question to Mr. Obama and do you know what he said? "You're a dog!" Oh no he didn't, he's going to use my words against me? He may have won big at the polls but he won't get my pup-ular vote.
NEXT TIME ON THE DLOG: SAY NO TO THE PUBLIC OPTION AND EMBRACE THE PUPPY OPTION
DISCLAIMER: The views expressed on Murfe's Paw DLog (dog blog) are those of Murfe Finbar Dolan and are in no way representative of my Mom.
I have been licking people's faces for a good 7 months now and well I'm pretty good at it (what we call a professional around the dog park). And that's not all I've been licking butt (no pun intended) this is a family blog. Now my Mom on the other paw? Well she had no technique. It was almost as if she was doing it just to get me to stop licking her and lets face it that's not why you lick someone's face now is it? It made me feel dirty.
But lets look at the most important piece of this story...she's been fighting some kind or respiratory thing for at least two months now. She has no business licking my face. She showed little regard for my PIS (puppy immune system) and let's not forget she's got a health insurance!
'Wait, Murf, you've got health insurance right?' No I don't! Why you ask? I recently posed the same question to Mr. Obama and do you know what he said? "You're a dog!" Oh no he didn't, he's going to use my words against me? He may have won big at the polls but he won't get my pup-ular vote.
NEXT TIME ON THE DLOG: SAY NO TO THE PUBLIC OPTION AND EMBRACE THE PUPPY OPTION
DISCLAIMER: The views expressed on Murfe's Paw DLog (dog blog)
Friday, November 27, 2009
The Birds and the Bee by Murf E
Hey Gang,
I know I owe you a couple more D-Logs about my problems with Obama's health care plan but I've got a bone to pick!
Last night I asked my Mom about the birds and the bees. That's cool right? I should totally ask my Mom about that, after all that's what she's there for right? Well that and to pick up my poop. Don't get me wrong, she's doing OK. I got no problems with her. What I have a problem with is her response to my question.
What does she say... She says you're too young to know about the birds and the bees. Are you kidding me??? I'M A DOG! Doesn't that mean anything to her? Seriously, I used to be quite the man around town. I don't like to brag but I had a lot going on down there if you get my drift. Tragically that all went away a few weeks ago. Yeah, my manhood was taken from me too soon! No one asked me. What do you ladies say...'My body my choice'?
Nope, not for me! I don't know who stole my sack but it's gone. I contacted my lawyer and he told me that's the law. What???? Seriously, they can make me a eunuch without my consent? I used to be a soprano and now I'm a frickin falsetto! It's not right, it just isn't. So who should I blame??? Obama, that's who! Until he fixes the healthcare system I refuse to pay my pooperty tax. I'll show him!
Wow, I am totally barking at the moon here but can you blame me?
I know I owe you a couple more D-Logs about my problems with Obama's health care plan but I've got a bone to pick!
Last night I asked my Mom about the birds and the bees. That's cool right? I should totally ask my Mom about that, after all that's what she's there for right? Well that and to pick up my poop. Don't get me wrong, she's doing OK. I got no problems with her. What I have a problem with is her response to my question.
What does she say... She says you're too young to know about the birds and the bees. Are you kidding me??? I'M A DOG! Doesn't that mean anything to her? Seriously, I used to be quite the man around town. I don't like to brag but I had a lot going on down there if you get my drift. Tragically that all went away a few weeks ago. Yeah, my manhood was taken from me too soon! No one asked me. What do you ladies say...'My body my choice'?
Nope, not for me! I don't know who stole my sack but it's gone. I contacted my lawyer and he told me that's the law. What???? Seriously, they can make me a eunuch without my consent? I used to be a soprano and now I'm a frickin falsetto! It's not right, it just isn't. So who should I blame??? Obama, that's who! Until he fixes the healthcare system I refuse to pay my pooperty tax. I'll show him!
Wow, I am totally barking at the moon here but can you blame me?
Thursday, November 26, 2009
What I'm Thankful for by Murf E Finbar
Hi Everyone!
Sorry I haven't written sooner but Mom was punishing me:( I ate an entire garbage bag full of garbage (I'd do it again in a heartbeat).
Dog oh dog was it good! There were two meat trays, a bag of moldy pita bread, a couple of wine corks (red and white...you know how I love varietals), a plastic bag with a whisper of Triscuits (tm), and 4 sausage flavored paper towels. (SIDE NOTE: If I was the president of a paper towel company I would only make sausage flavored towels. It's kinda like post-it notes...'why didn't I think of that?') It was the equivalent of 7 all you can eat buffets Vegas Style for a dog. And as you may or may not know, I'M A DOG!
I have to run now cuz I have the runs:( As great as that feast was I'll be honest with you, it's giving me colon blow.
That's the poop for now brown cow,
Murfe
Sorry I haven't written sooner but Mom was punishing me:( I ate an entire garbage bag full of garbage (I'd do it again in a heartbeat).
Dog oh dog was it good! There were two meat trays, a bag of moldy pita bread, a couple of wine corks (red and white...you know how I love varietals), a plastic bag with a whisper of Triscuits (tm), and 4 sausage flavored paper towels. (SIDE NOTE: If I was the president of a paper towel company I would only make sausage flavored towels. It's kinda like post-it notes...'why didn't I think of that?') It was the equivalent of 7 all you can eat buffets Vegas Style for a dog. And as you may or may not know, I'M A DOG!
I have to run now cuz I have the runs:( As great as that feast was I'll be honest with you, it's giving me colon blow.
That's the poop for now brown cow,
Murfe
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Someone Stole My Sack (and other issues I have with the Obama health care plan)
My person or pupson has been desecrated! The other day I am 'tending to' myself when something feels different. It's not that it feels different but more so that there's less to 'tend to' which is frightening prospect because I read in GQ that size does matter (I don't know what it means either).
At first I think I've lost weight cuz I've been training and they tell me you lose fat before you build muscle. That is cool with me but I need to investigate it further so I try to look back there and next thing you know I'm chasing my tail. (I know typical dog move right???) Well this went on for a good 20 minutes with no success until I got dizzy and fell off the bed. Once I came to I had forgotten what I was investigating...
I know, 'get to the point Murf'. Bear with me cuz I'm a Dog!
At first I think I've lost weight cuz I've been training and they tell me you lose fat before you build muscle. That is cool with me but I need to investigate it further so I try to look back there and next thing you know I'm chasing my tail. (I know typical dog move right???) Well this went on for a good 20 minutes with no success until I got dizzy and fell off the bed. Once I came to I had forgotten what I was investigating...
I know, 'get to the point Murf'. Bear with me cuz I'm a Dog!
Friday, November 20, 2009
PPPR: Puffs Plus Puppy Review Part 3
Ok, it's me Murf again. Mom is sleeping and she doesn't know how to puppy proof her laptop so here I am again with more of the real poop! Now where did I leave off?
Oh that's right, I had just started enjoying my first tissue when it dawns on me that if I'm gonna do it up I should do it right. I proceed to take several tissues out of the box and hide them around the bedroom for later. Then I want to surprise mom with my mad art skills. So I take several more tissues and start tearing them up on her bed cause she looks kind of cold and sometimes tissues should be seen not eaten. I craft a delightful puppy paper mache. Unfortunately, I don't own a camera and Mom never puts down her iPhone so I was unable to capture the moment.
Back to the review, I really do enjoy Puffs Plus with Lotion. It tastes great with no paper after taste and soft... don't get me started. Unfortunately, the tissue industry is not required to place nutritional info on the box which I find disturbing as I plan to make this a staple of my diet. That brings me to my only issue with the tissue and that's the calories. Now as I said they don't list that info but I'm a pretty buff dude and well in the few days I've been eating them I feel a little bloated. I read in O by Oprah (product placement) that eating paper towels leads to water retention but was surprised to find it in a tissue.
Stop right there, I know what you are thinking. Murf, you eat garbage off the street. Don't tell us you are concerned about calories? Well yeah that's true but lets face facts, I'm not getting any younger. I am knocking on the door of 7 months! I won't have this puppy breath forever so I need to start watching what I eat.
Here's the bottom line: Puffs Plus w Lotion gets two dewclaws up from this pup!
Stay tuned for my next D-Log Blog Series...wait for it...HAVE YOU SEEN MY SACK!!!
Oh that's right, I had just started enjoying my first tissue when it dawns on me that if I'm gonna do it up I should do it right. I proceed to take several tissues out of the box and hide them around the bedroom for later. Then I want to surprise mom with my mad art skills. So I take several more tissues and start tearing them up on her bed cause she looks kind of cold and sometimes tissues should be seen not eaten. I craft a delightful puppy paper mache. Unfortunately, I don't own a camera and Mom never puts down her iPhone so I was unable to capture the moment.
Back to the review, I really do enjoy Puffs Plus with Lotion. It tastes great with no paper after taste and soft... don't get me started. Unfortunately, the tissue industry is not required to place nutritional info on the box which I find disturbing as I plan to make this a staple of my diet. That brings me to my only issue with the tissue and that's the calories. Now as I said they don't list that info but I'm a pretty buff dude and well in the few days I've been eating them I feel a little bloated. I read in O by Oprah (product placement) that eating paper towels leads to water retention but was surprised to find it in a tissue.
Stop right there, I know what you are thinking. Murf, you eat garbage off the street. Don't tell us you are concerned about calories? Well yeah that's true but lets face facts, I'm not getting any younger. I am knocking on the door of 7 months! I won't have this puppy breath forever so I need to start watching what I eat.
Here's the bottom line: Puffs Plus w Lotion gets two dewclaws up from this pup!
Stay tuned for my next D-Log Blog Series...wait for it...HAVE YOU SEEN MY SACK!!!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
PPPR: Puffs Plus Puppy Review continued...
So last night Mom fell asleep before me. That almost never happens on account of she is the nervous type or so she tell me. I think she's a vampire cuz they are very hot right now! But I digress.
Anyways, I'm checking the perimeter of the bedroom when this box catches my eye. At first I think it's a portable toilet paper dispenser and am instantly amazed. Why didn't I think of that? I should have invented that! So I sneak over there and give a quick sniff as it may be a BSB (bed-side bomb). It smells similar to the TP that I love so but there's something extra so I give it a quick taste. OMG, that's good, really good. Tastes like TP with an Alfredo sauce baked in!
My next thought is, 'how do I get this entire stash into my secret lair without waking mom?' so I set my plan into action. I do a quick drive by to make sure my mom is still asleep and she is! Next I try to figure out how to pick up the whole box and stash it somewhere so I push it off the bed side table and it's a full box (JACKPOT!!!!).
Now I start eating it right out of the box. Wow, that's good eats. Uh oh, here comes Mom. I'll finish this on the flip side...
Anyways, I'm checking the perimeter of the bedroom when this box catches my eye. At first I think it's a portable toilet paper dispenser and am instantly amazed. Why didn't I think of that? I should have invented that! So I sneak over there and give a quick sniff as it may be a BSB (bed-side bomb). It smells similar to the TP that I love so but there's something extra so I give it a quick taste. OMG, that's good, really good. Tastes like TP with an Alfredo sauce baked in!
My next thought is, 'how do I get this entire stash into my secret lair without waking mom?' so I set my plan into action. I do a quick drive by to make sure my mom is still asleep and she is! Next I try to figure out how to pick up the whole box and stash it somewhere so I push it off the bed side table and it's a full box (JACKPOT!!!!).
Now I start eating it right out of the box. Wow, that's good eats. Uh oh, here comes Mom. I'll finish this on the flip side...
PPPR: Puffs Plus Puppy Review
Yum, I love tissues especially Puffs Plus with lotion. This is my first PCR post (Puppy Customer Review) so listen up!
I used to be strictly a toilet paper kind of dog. Toilet paper is like an "all you can eat buffet" for a little guy like me. First I will just have a taste and then rip it into bite size pieces that I like to leave around the house usually in areas that my mom has recently vacuumed. She seems to enjoy it too as she always stops what she is doing to help me clean up my feast. The other day I tried a new TP recipe that I call the "Foot Long". This is the perfect recipe for an on the go guy such as myself. You simply take the edge of the TP and walk gently with it in your mouth so as not to tear it from the roll. I super sized my Foot Long. Took it out of my Mom's bathroom into the hall, around the corner, down Rebecca's hall and almost made it to the sliding glass door before Rebecca stopped me. She told me it was not a foot long but I'm not sure she knows how long a foot is either so we agreed to disagree.
I know what you're thinking, 'Wait Murf, I thought you were going to give us your review of Puff's Plus tissues?' Well I'm getting to that.
TO BE CONTINUED
I used to be strictly a toilet paper kind of dog. Toilet paper is like an "all you can eat buffet" for a little guy like me. First I will just have a taste and then rip it into bite size pieces that I like to leave around the house usually in areas that my mom has recently vacuumed. She seems to enjoy it too as she always stops what she is doing to help me clean up my feast. The other day I tried a new TP recipe that I call the "Foot Long". This is the perfect recipe for an on the go guy such as myself. You simply take the edge of the TP and walk gently with it in your mouth so as not to tear it from the roll. I super sized my Foot Long. Took it out of my Mom's bathroom into the hall, around the corner, down Rebecca's hall and almost made it to the sliding glass door before Rebecca stopped me. She told me it was not a foot long but I'm not sure she knows how long a foot is either so we agreed to disagree.
I know what you're thinking, 'Wait Murf, I thought you were going to give us your review of Puff's Plus tissues?' Well I'm getting to that.
TO BE CONTINUED
Sunday, November 8, 2009
CBass
Hey puppy loving party people!
So last night my friend Chelsea Bass and her friend came over. She is wicked cool and smells like a girl. So anyways we are kickin it on the couch when she decides to start a fire. I bark at her maybe once or twice, "CBass (that's what I call her), I wouldn't do that if I were you!"
She completely ignores me and start fiddling around with the fireplace. So now I get up in her grill and say, "RUFF RUFF RUFF" but still nothing. Apparently she's not fluent in Chi-Weenie but at least I got her attention. So I say to her real slow, "CBass, seriously don't burn my Mom's house down. That would not be cool and I am barking from experience here. I mean seriously you should see how she treats me when I poop on the rug!"
Peace Out,
Murf
So last night my friend Chelsea Bass and her friend came over. She is wicked cool and smells like a girl. So anyways we are kickin it on the couch when she decides to start a fire. I bark at her maybe once or twice, "CBass (that's what I call her), I wouldn't do that if I were you!"
She completely ignores me and start fiddling around with the fireplace. So now I get up in her grill and say, "RUFF RUFF RUFF" but still nothing. Apparently she's not fluent in Chi-Weenie but at least I got her attention. So I say to her real slow, "CBass, seriously don't burn my Mom's house down. That would not be cool and I am barking from experience here. I mean seriously you should see how she treats me when I poop on the rug!"
Peace Out,
Murf
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Home Alone
Hey DLog Fans!
MurfE checking in. So my mom went on a lesbian cruise and left me home alone:( If you are in the neighborhood stop by! Also, if you can pick up some beer and biscuits I will totally lick your face. I just finished humping her throw pillows;)
Party at my place,
MurfE
PS: If my crate's a rocking don't come a knocking
MurfE checking in. So my mom went on a lesbian cruise and left me home alone:( If you are in the neighborhood stop by! Also, if you can pick up some beer and biscuits I will totally lick your face. I just finished humping her throw pillows;)
Party at my place,
MurfE
PS: If my crate's a rocking don't come a knocking
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